Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
