Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
