At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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