That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
