I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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