Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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