I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just had sex bonerless
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i drank out of a bidet.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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