i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
