Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize