It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize