winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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