I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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