you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
