well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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