thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
