And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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