Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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