I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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