i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
