You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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