Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
