why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think your dad took our porno
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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