pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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