the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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