Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
