I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes