She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.