My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.