Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to