Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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