dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
