I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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