no, he came in my armpit
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
