you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
