He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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