we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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