considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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