I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Then you guys just all showered together...?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
