he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
high people should be assigned attendants
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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