I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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