Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
