Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
