O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
