It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
