so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
