You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
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Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
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Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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