No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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