i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
