I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hippo gnu deer
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
