i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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