Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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