Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
