Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
