I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My feet surprised me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
