Please, let me fuck your mom
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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