I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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