I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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