I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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