From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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