Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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