What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
