would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
