so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
