she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
