I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
