Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
